Vanilla Skies & Butterflies
by Cryzzel
Summary: After 2.05. Every year since they were kids, Blair gives chuck a present, every year he takes it with a sad smile on his face. But this year he rejects her present and her heart. -oneshot-


Vanilla skies & butterflies

Summary: After 2.05. Every year since they were kids, Blair gives chuck a present, every year he takes it with a sad smile on his face. But this year he rejects her present and her heart.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, CB would've endgamed by now. So it belongs to the respective owners.

For Amy because she came up with some of the plotlines and because I love her! My Blair!

**XXX**

It was always vanilla skies on this date. Always blue, white and lovely. It never rained on this particular day. It's what made this day a lovely day… However, for once in the 18 years of his life, today was dark and gloomy, and it looked like it was going to rain soon.

Yes. This is the type of weather he approved off on this terrible day.

"Chuck."

He looked up to see her standing in front of him. He smirked, throwing his cigarette on the floor, butting it out.

"Waldorf, what have I done to be graced by your presence today?" he asked in his usual tone of voice, which always sent shivers down her spine. She hated that he had that effect on her.

She rolled her eyes and shoved something into his hands. He looked down puzzlingly at the package. It was gift wrapped in expensive gold wrapper.

"Well? Aren't you going to open it?"

Chuck was quiet for a couple of moments before looking away, and he didn't look the least bit happy. Blair frowned, that wasn't the reaction someone gave when they received presents from someone. For gods sake they were on bad terms but she still remembered to give him a present!

"Why are you here Blair?"

"Are you blind? Its obvious why I'm here!" She always gave him a present every year on his birthday! And he always took it and opened it in front of her, usually mocking her taste in presents for him! Always with a sad smile, but he took it nevertheless. But today, today was out of sorts! It was bugging her.

"Why are you REALLY here?"

Damn. He could see right through her. He didn't know why she was here but it was definitely more than a birthday present. She hated him so much! For gods sake she already wished he'd shut up and open the god damned gift, then he'd understand why she was really there for. Blair Waldorf made up her mind. Just yesterday. After all the issues thats been running about her social life, which is fixed now, because she put Serena's butt back where it should be, which is the second row steps, she had more time to think about her love life. Her very screwed up love life which consisted of cheating boyfriends, disgusting incestuous love and just plain misery.

She was here for a deeper reason than just another day.

"Are you high? Its your birthday so I came here to give you this!" she told him, which was the truth. Then he continued eyeing her like there's more to this. "And… I wanted to see how you were doing." She said through gritted teeth.

"Why?"

That was unusual. Why the hell was Chuck Bass asking why?

"Because… because we're friends."

She hoped he'd give her a smirk and give some perverted comment but she was so surprised when he acted so cold.

"Since when were we friends Waldorf? We were never friends. And you remind me of this everyday." He told her, no remorse in his voice. Just plain ice coated sentences. It honestly shocked her.

Where was her playful Chuck Bass?

He looked cold and tired, he doesn't even look at her the way he usually did. He usually looked at her in this intense forlorn way. It was a look only reserved for her, and she knows it. But there was no trace of it in him today.

And she hated it. She hated it so much.

"What's your point? I'm just being nice for once!"

She gets desperate and you can hear it in her voice. In fact Chuck could hear it loud and clear but he was too tired to go through this again, They've been running around in circles for the last year. They fought, they've hurt each other, they've had sex, they've been indifferent for the last one year.

He's loved her for the last one year.

And he's just tired of it, oh so tired.

"Did you know I loved you for one year?" he asked her straight off the bat. It just came out of a random that it stunned Blair to her spot. She stared at him in shock. Did Chuck Bass say love?

"I… no." she said, but her heart was swelling so much she thought she could burst. Then it slowly inflated as he spoke. His face expression didn't change. It was still stone cold, but his eyes… his eyes showed everything.

"If you did know. Would it make the last year any different?" he asked her.

She blinked in confusion. Where was he taking this?

"I… I told you Chuck, if you said it that time in the Hamptons… I could've been yours…. I would've been yours."

"I love you." Her confession coming out as an audible whisper.

This wasn't going the way she planned! This was so messed up!

Chuck stared down intensely at her, not knowing what to do in this situation. It was getting dark and it was only 2pm in the afternoon. It was a bright vanilla sky day at all. It was gloomy. Birthdays are supposed to be happy, cheery! Not gloomy and sad. But his was always sad…

Blair kept looking at the ground feeling the cold air hit her face as she waited for his answer, waited for him to say something! Anything! She needed him to say something before she died of suffocation because she was holding her breath in for so long.

He finally answered.

"No you don't."

She whipped her head up to look at him. A big mistake. Once she saw his deep dark eyes she was lost. They were always so intensely sad. Why was that so?

"What do you mean? I know what I feel! And honestly this isn't the reaction I wanted!" she said jabbing his chest angrily. She just confessed to him and he gave her this bullshit? What was he getting at? She was so pissed!

"You don't love me because you don't even know me."

"What are you talking about? I know you. I know you better than anyone else." She said, unaware of the slight desperation that seeped into her voice.

He chuckled sadly, "No. I know you. Therefore I love you. I wouldn't change who you are for the world Blair." His hand reached up to caress her cheek, and for once that entire day Blair felt warm in the middle of October.

"But I can't be with you because I'm tired." He told her, and in a split second she felt cold again when he withdrew his hand. "I can't do this with you anymore. And especially not today." He told her. His voice was steady, his face was set hard. But his eyes…

"Your eyes. They're not telling me the truth." Blair said, she was willing herself not to cry. She willed herself to keep her tears at bay. Her eyes felt hot as tears threatened to spill. But she was Blair Waldorf, when she commands herself not to cry. She won't. "You're doing that thing where you say the meanest things! But your eyes don't say the same thing! You're lying to me!" she felt her tears breaking her command.

"Did you know my mom died today?"

Blair literally stopped breathing.

He looked at her with the saddest look she's ever seen him with.

Blair blinked; she didn't know how she still could stand there with the lack of oxygen she was taking in. She couldn't believe this. How could she not know this?

"If you took the time to know me. You'd know that. Right?"

Yes…. He was right. If only she took the time to know him…

"I never celebrate my birthday for a reason. Nathaniel and even Serena knows how much I hate my birthday but neither of them know why. You were the only one who gave me something. Reminding me what a dreadful, yet bearable day this is. On one note it's a day of grievance, on the other… it's the only day you're nice to me." He gave her a small yet painful smile. "Since I was a kid I waited for you to give me something. Eventhough I hated to be reminded of today. The day my mother died, during childbirth…. Because of me." He scoffed, "Heh, instead of having a birthday party I visit her grave." He looked away, looking distant again. Blair felt her heart breaking piece by piece. She loved him, but she was stubborn to let him in because she didn't trust him. He came from a broken family much like hers. But unlike hers… he didn't have a mother. That's why he acted like he is now, why he couldn't commit to her….

"Being with you…took that all away. For a moment. Being with you made me forget. Being with you utilized my time actually." He laughed softly. "It made it bearable to be Chuck Bass and proud of it when I was with you."

He said it with so much of sincerity Blair felt like taking him into her arms and just hug him. Just… hug all his pain away. She wanted to do it. She wanted to hug a broken Chuck Bass and keep him warm and safe. She wanted him so badly, but after what he told her, she couldn't move.

He still held the package in his hand, but he took her hand and gave it back to her. His touch burned her. It always had.

"So this year I cant accept this." He told her. "Give it to someone else who deserves it. Okay? And, I'll leave you alone from now on. This is one sick cycle carousel we're in. And we're both tired. Therefore, no more scheming to take you down." He reminded her of the time he got serena back as queen, "No more bugging you and potential boyfriends, even if they are inadequate and imperfect for you." He smiled, reminding her of Nate and Lord Marcus.

"I'll leave you alone, because you've got to find prince charming sometime soon. Don't you?" he knew her so well, yet she didn't know him at all. How was that possible? She did want her prince charming, but she didn't care now. All she wanted was him!

Then when he didn't get any answer from her, he caressed her cheek softly before he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips, and Blair felt her heart breaking. It felt like a goodbye kiss. The kiss which gave her everything yet stripped everything away.

"I love you." He whispered those endearing words so softly.

She knew this was goodbye. No. NO she didn't want that! She looked deep into his eyes and she swore she could see a little Chuck Bass crying, for his mother and for himself. Her eyes widened as he gave her a broken smile, but nothing came out of her mouth. She didn't stop him when he released her. She didn't run after him when he turned around and walked away.

She didn't do anything but watch him disappear from her vision. She just stood there with the package in her hand, stunned.

Then, she stopped willing herself to cry, and her tears came pouring down. All her tears she kept within her for the last one-year for Chuck up till now came pouring down.

Blair Waldorf cried, and the whole world could hear her heart shatter into a million pieces.

"_You don't love me, because you don't know me."_

She sunk to the ground and let her tears hit the cold hard ground. Feeling the shards of her broken heart stab her chest, but feeling the butterflies still alive and well in her stomach. God how she hated those butterflies. She felt like beating her stomach to kill them. In fact she'll do so when she reached back home and find sanctuary in her bathroom.

No. Chuck Bass didn't know her at all. He didn't know her as much as she didn't know him. Because she loved him despite everything. She still loved him. The one-day he rejected her present… was the one day she gave him her heart. Inside the small package was the heart pin. It wasn't the same one she gave Marcus or Nate. It was new. It was made out of pure gold, and she had it specially made because she wanted someone new this year. Someone who loved her, and she loved back…

So no. She didn't know him, but neither did he.

It was true. They did truly deserve each other.

Just not today.

XXX

A/n: What the hell is up with me and sad stories? god i think its the lack of CB interaction in season 2. LOL.


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